Disabled: Volume 1

               For over eight years of my life I was legally disabled due to my Crohn's disease.  Very few people know this about me.  It was one of the most difficult, humbling, and shameful decisions I have ever made in my entire life.  My parents were struggling to keep me on Cobra insurance and I was so ill that I couldn't work in any arena and regardless: no one would hire someone who was in and out of the hospital all the time and would have to call in sick on a regular basis.  Anyways, I swallowed my stubborn pride and filed with the Social Security Administration for SSI benefits.  It was a long and arduous process that included miles of paperwork and various doctor evaluations.  I was approved almost 6 months later and started receiving checks once a month and healthcare through the Medicaid program.  Over the course of the eight years that I received these checks, they averaged around $625.  This amount was plenty when I lived with my parents, but turned into a stress test every month when I moved out on my own.  Needless to say I got very good at stretching that almighty dollar. 

               No matter what my Crohn's was doing, the one thing that always brought me down was having this stigma heaved upon me because I was on government assistance.  I would hear people on the news, friends in public, acquaintances on Facebook, and others talk about how people on these kinds of programs are just lazy.  That they are just looking for a handout and a free ride.  I just wanted to be able to get treatment and keep my family from going broke.  I never lied about my condition to receive benefits, and I never took for granted anything that I was given.  I know that there are people out there who do abuse the system, but those of us who need it shouldn't be punished and persecuted for the actions of a reckless and irresponsible few.  Every time I had to go into the Social Security office or the Department of Human Services I would little by little be made to feel like a completely worthless human being.  Once and awhile I would interact with a case worker that had a genuine sense of caring and empathy and I owe them a great thanks, but mostly I was treated like a second-class citizen and piece of shit.  Someone once said to me that my disability check was "free money."  It wasn't free.  My soul and my heart paid a high price.

               There is much more to tell about my experience of being on disability, but I cannot go into them now.  That is why this post is titled "volume 1."  There is much more to come, including a few surprises and a cameo by a U.S. Senator.  Until then, all I ask is that you hear me when I say that I am not lazy, I do not want a free ride, and I am a strong and capable human being that deserves some dignity and respect.  But, even the strongest of us need help sometimes.  If you are on disability, or know someone who is, you have my respect, and I hope that you are able to one day get on your feet and be healthy.  Also, never stop fighting.  Healthcare is a human right.  None of us are expendable.  Good day rangers.

For more information about the Social Security Administration and SSI please visit the following pages:

http://www.ssa.gov/disability/
http://www.social-security-disability-claims.org/
http://www.disability-advocate.com/