What Am I Getting Myself Into?

          Well, after two hospitalizations in the last two months, my doctor and I have decided to change my primary medication from Humira to Tysabri.  Some of you may be familiar with this drug, but for those who are not, I shall enlighten you.  This drug has a very scary possible side effect to it that caused it to be taken off of the market a few years ago.  It is now back with stricter prescribing guidelines, but still has that nasty scary possible side-effect.  What is this possible nasty scary side-effect you ask?  Well, it comes in the form of a nasty scary incurable virus that can cause neurological damage and a host of other things.  If you follow this link it will tell you all the nasty sordid details that I don't have the energy to type out. Tysabri Information

          I have been tested for the antibodies of this J-Virus and I do not have them, so I have passed the first hurdle in avoiding this side-effect.  Still, I would be lying if I said that I wasn't scared shitless by this possibility.  We all have to take medications that have crazy side-effects that make us question whether or not the medication itself is actually worth it, but a majority of them come down to a nuisance rather than a life-threatening event.  As I sit here typing this through a pain-med induced haze I can't help but question if it is worth it.  But then I have to think of what the alternative is.  Do I even have an alternative at this point?  Perhaps I'm just psyching myself out.  The first time I had Humira I was a nervous wreck, but that was because I was scared it wasn't going to work.  Hopefully that is all that I'm going through now.  Just some treatment based cold feet.

          We are still waiting on insurance approval for this so all my fretting may be for naught.  Only time will tell.  I'll make sure to keep everyone informed as I strike out on this new medication adventure, and anyone out there who has experience with this med, please feel free to either put my mind at ease or send me screaming into the night.  Besides, with all the shit us Chronies go through on a regular basis, they have to expect us to go a little mad sometimes.  Best wishes, rangers.  Keep on fighting, and pray for my sanity to hold at least through the first infusion.  Peace.